It was not until someone handed me Harville Hendrix’s book, Keeping the Love You Find, did I finally understand my role in the dysfunctional. Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D. created Imago Harville: We wrote Keeping The Love You Find to address that. Keeping the Love You Find. By Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., ISBN 5 star must reading. [The following is what I highlighted during my read of this.

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Oct 29, Elizabeth rated it really liked it. In doing these exercises, you decrease the rigidity of the defensive structure around your energetic core….

But our minds and our hearts have not kept up with this change. The power struggle recapitulates the issues and hard work of the stages of Exploration, Identity, and Competence.

Reading it feels like an intense therapy session. He lives in New Jersey and New Mexico. The bubble of romantic love will burst, and you will find yourself locked in a power struggle. Initiate separateness; develop outside interests; internalize partner; integrate positive and negative traits of partner. Forget the Mating Game!

In a conscious relationship, there are no exits.

Keeping the Love You Find

In pushing the limits of our habituated behavior to heal our partner, we heal ourselves, for we reactivate our own evolution toward wholeness. Marriage itself, properly understood, is the therapy we need to grow and become wholeto return to our innate joyful state.

If you can follow the trail from your childhood to your present situation—or, more leeping, from the present backward to childhood—you will have the ingredients for understanding and change that will serve you in your current or future relationships.

Partner rigidity and dominance. We are inherently androgynous creatures, embodying harvlle male and female energy….

Communication with your sexual partner is the key to knowingto penetrating the mystery of the other who is different from you. Whatever your history, whatever your heartbreak, as a single person you are in an ideal position to learn what you need to know what what you can do to greatly improve your chances for finding, He has little access to feelings, and lacks empathy with others.


Keeping the Love You Find – Harville Hendrix – Google Books

Being a failure, guilt and disapproval; fear of parental partner disapproval. Eliminate the blame and criticism. This book has a great deal of exercises in each chapter designed to help you examine the childhood ills that are blocking love.

The Imago bond creates a spurious wholeness. There are also exercises in the book that you utilize in order to determine the type of person you are in relation to other types to see which is most compatible to you. Distillation of Hendrx Experience.

He specializes in working with couples in private practice, teaching marital therapy to therapists, and conducting couples workshops across the country. A loose cannon of boundariless rage that she is not valued as a person, she makes her partner invisible. Secretly they yearn to be free of constrictive rules, which they often break in private.

Almost every chapter, Hendrix devises these tedious “exercises” which were generally long, painful, and incredibly boring and repetitious.

Maybe I can find it in bendrix bookstore nearby. And then I started skipping them. You are never on my side. The idea of the disposability of the troubled spouse is dangerous and destructive.

The process will be longer, harder, and more painful.

Keeping the Love You Find | Book by Harville Hendrix | Official Publisher Page | Simon & Schuster

Those qualities end up annoying us and a power struggle ensues. I suspect those that USE the books, compared to read the books keep them or pass them on selectively. The premise of socialization is twofold: This book is aimed at singles and as such should be required reading for every single man or woman expecting the great hatville show up in their life.

Guided by your instinctual animal wisdom and the wisdom of your higher nature, you will be better able to make the changes you need to become whole…. Unconditional love—or, more accurately, unconditional giving—has not been in vogue in recent times. Published February 1st by Atria Books first published February 1st If you practice this exercise daily … you hrndrix experience a deepening peace inside you. If you hope to succeed fnid your partnership, you must first and foremost accept one shocking reality: References to this book Short-term Couples Therapy: As a matter of fact, he was on the show 17 times and Oprah lists Harville Hendrix as one of her top 20 moments on the show.


Intentional Dialogue, therefore, is simply conscious communication, that is, communication that clarifies, confirms, and develops appreciation, respect for, and acceptance of the inner ,ove of others.

Keeping the Love you Find

Eventually culture is expressed biologically, as competitiveness in men or cooperation in women. In fact, as you learn about childhood ills and the stage at which they manifest, his book has the added benefit of helping you become harille better parent. I am not yhe. The way you respond to the projection confirms for the projector that it is true: Looking for the Imago Relationships International professional site?

Rather than viewing human nature as essentially good, and sex as life affirming as is the case in some Eastern culturesour attitudes toward sex—the evils of the flesh—are based on the premise that human nature is essentially evil and sex the depraved act of an evil being.

Befriending and learning from the opposite sex is a primary means of getting in touch with our contrasexual energy. It’s definitely worth adding to one’s cache of self-help books. Whatever is created by experience must be corrected by experience rather than mere analysis.

Not at all; it is the path.

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